a note on hipster scarves and the douches that wear them


Dear Acquaintance that Constantly Refers to Me As Hipster Ditz And Can't Spell My Damn Name Right,

I'll clarify my complete anti-hipster status right now. I do not own anything from Urban Outfitters. I refuse to go to Williamsburg. I don't read French Novels in Internet Cafes. I don't even like Expresso. I do not own a keffiyeh, you could not pay me to own a keffiyeh, and whenever I see a keffiyeh in the summer I have the urge to use it to smother the stupid person who would wear it in 90 degree weather with moccasins. Not only because of the impracticality of it, but also because if I were to walk up to them and ask if they knew about the statement they were wearing (Palestinians and politics in summary) they would just give me a blank hipster stare and try to out-bitch me, which in the course of my 15 years has never happened and never will. (My secret weapon is run on sentences.)

I am also incredibly frugal and feel bad for spending more than $20 on any one article of clothing, which is why I only buy things from the clearance rack at f21 or con my friends into buying things for me. Real hipsters spend $300 on a shitty haircut that makes them look like they just rolled out of bed, and they spend hundreds of dollars at boutiques and Vintage-Inspired Stores to make them look like Don Charney wannabes. I spend hours, nay, days watching Anime (I love me some catboys and Vampires) and Japanese Dramas (yay Hana Yori Dango) so when people say I'm hipster I kind of want to bring them into a dark, cold room and introduce their face to a shovel.

What I am saying, is I probably have more in common with your local ABC (American Born Asian) or homeless person -- I hang out with the local homeless dude here, he's paralyzed and we talk about corrupt politicians -- than I do with hipsters. The hipsters we know of are overexposed, pale headband wearing AA toting cynics who's only objectives are to see who can appear more disinterested in Velvet Underground and online comic cum music blog references than the hipster next to them.

What I am saying, is that I am not hipster. And also, thank god I haven't seen a keffiyeh in months. If you own a keffiyeh and have worn it in the past month, please never speak to me again.

Sincerely,

Not a Hipster / One Fashion Blogger Who Does Not Own Keffiyehs

P.S My run on sentences have more depth than you ever will.
P.P.S The dude is modeling proper keffiyeh technique. Learn from the master, bitches.
P.P.P.S I realize this post is late for the hipster keffiyeh thing, I still see them sometimes. Also, saying I am not a hipster is something a hipster would do, but only a hipster would bring that fact up.
P.P.P.P.S I'm not hipster.

Edit: dudes, dudes, chillax. I know some people who wear keffiyehs know the meaning behind them, some people who wear them aren't hipsters. If you didn't realize this was a joke, maybe I didn't make it obvious enough, and that's on me. We've all got our own definitions of hipsters and perceptions and we're entitled to them. Calling me an idiot for wasting your time isn't going to make me not get irritated at people mislabeling me or spelling my name wrong though. Anyway, im a sarcastic twat so this is supposed to be taken with a pinch of salt and an eye roll. Don't take it seriously, dudes. Your hair cuts / french novels are probably better than the ones I've had, hahaha.

38 comments:

susie_bubble said...

i hate these hipster definitions...even if someone does do those things that you have listed out, why is that suddenly the wore thing in the world? Oh god...I've been to Williamsburg and suddenly that makes me someone incredibly sad and tragic?!? It just makes absolutely no sense at all to be bandying around these terms as if they were insults....

susie_bubble said...

wore=worse

The Clothes Horse said...

Hipsters are such a waste of time. People on the Internet like to call me that and I just don't see how someone who literally lives in farm country near Amish folks can be a hipster! To be a hipster don't you at least need to have proximity to some major hip-cult-hang out?
Ugh, hipsters. Funny post.

llamasandme said...

haha it's dov charney.
but it just proves how anti-hipster you really are; i like it XD

But I went to Williamsburg this summer to stay with my cousin in her loft before she moved and we went down to Bedford Ave. and I was sick to my stomach. Thins were 300 dollars ON SALE.
It was horrible. I felt horrible.

Belle said...

You know I felt violated googling it so I didn't bother hahaha xD

That's sad man. True sad.

Krissy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Krissy said...

ahh i acidentally deleted old comment. what is said was rachael ray wore one of those scarves in a dunkin donuts commercial, and it was taken off the air

Anonymous said...

there are some that wear the scarfs and know their history so don't always assume, it gets you nowhere

Anonymous said...

you're an idiot. a complete idiot and a waste of my time.

G & W said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G & W said...

ahh sorry excuse my last post, i got quite heated. i do love your blog and i do enjoy reading your posts. however, this specific post has left me stunned that you would make such rash assumptions. esp when not everybody in this world wears these scarfs in order to be hip but because they know its meaning.

Belle said...

Anon: if you don't realize by now im always kidding you are wasting your own time, its not my problem.

Yeah guys, I was kidding about hipster stereotypes. Of course I realize people wear it knowing its meaning, wy would I bother blogging about it otherwise?: but the majority of the people I've seen wearing them don't.

KATLIN said...

I feel the same way about those scarves! I live in Hawaii and people wear them, I'm like do you it's hot outside? Why the fudge are you wearing that you wannabe? Oooh and I also hate those Kanye West shutter shades.

bewkworm said...

yup, yasser arafat is the ultimate hipster. i'm really glad now i didn't get you one as a souvenir now, cuz you probably would have strangled me with it. don't a bunch of kids from our school wear them too?

Belle said...

jew: yes, i probably would have. yeah those are the hipsters i am referring to.l i mean they are the ultimate package: art school, snobby, always in AA.... but they're a conundrum because when you get to know them they aren't as douchey. which is why i'm kind of joking with this post.

Stephanie said...

God hipsters are so controversial, yeah? I actually own a keffiyeh ($10 bucks from my trip to England - I saw so many people wearing it there and I had never seen it before so I got it) but I haven't worn it since spring or so. I do know what's going on in Palestine though! But I hate hipsters, or rather the people who consider themselves to be them.

City Chic Please said...

Ahhh, I agree with you on most terms, but I reference to the Velvet Underground frequently b/c:
a) the Andy Warhol Museum is about 20 minutes away.
b) it outsmarts my dad frequently, which I love to do.

But yeah, people who wear keffiyehs do look like Yassar Arafat. I prefer silk scarfs that don't have a Palestian reference to them.

And AHHH. You read Fruits Basket. It's pretty much the only manga I like <3

City Chic Please said...

whoops, I spelled Palestinian wrong. i'm such a loser...

rosie. said...

I definitely understood your sarcasm and I really enjoy reading posts like these ... it's your opinion (and a funny one at that). Anyone who gets overly offended by this really should take a class in sarcasm but that is just me.

BTW, one reason why I hate going to the mall nowadays=hipsters.

xx,
rosie

rosie. said...

I really should have revised my last comment ... what I meant to say is "that is just my opinion."
and the reason why I do not go to the mall nowadays is because of the Florida version of these hipsters (think Hollister cutoffs, spray tan, logo tee, ridiculous glasses)

keep on doing your thing Belle, I really like it.

サブリナ said...

It's like people who wear heavy eyeliner who we dub emo.

It's like girls who wear yoga pants to school who we dub JAPs.

Clothing can be a lifestyle, but one's clothing doesn't necessairily mark their lifestyle.

Isabel said...

Yeah, i don't like those scarf thingies either. I don't have a grwat deal of hate for them either, but am glad as hell i don't own one.

honey said...

you do not even know what a hipster means or anything about williamsburg. everything you have said in this post is a personification of what the media sees as hipster.

get out of your hole before you speak!

honey said...

also way to backtrack with your eta

Anonymous said...

honestly? even if you were kidding, some people don't take it as a joke when you classify them as 'HIPSTER' just because they read french novels or get expensive haircuts, or shop at urban outfitters. MANY people shop at urban, thank you very much, and some of them cannot be put under your definition of hipster.

Cristina said...

oh my lord, some of you need to chill out. it's her opinion and who are you to criticize her opinion? i completely agree with her hipster stereotype anyway, but still you guys, it's an opinion and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Sabrina said...

Don't touch the French novels! Heh. Knowing another language is always an asset :)

Lara said...

ahhhh, i read french novels, shop at UO and....um, yeah i do kinda own one of THOSE scarves....but then again i can speak fluent french, only just discovered UO and i bought the scarf because i liked it and i was freezing cold in oxford!!! does that make me a tragic hipster or a wannabe? no.

Emma said...

wow, heated debate. i thought it was funny and it's sad that people would get offended by it. really, it just shows they aren't comfortable with who they are and can't shake off a bit of criticism that was sarcastic anyway!

though it's espresso, not expresso. pet hate.

Ben said...

WO everyone needs to stop getting their panties in a bunch. I wasn't here when belle posted this, she's joking, everyone stfu and gtfo.

Adiel said...

Hipster shmipster, that's what I say. Do what you want when you want to do it. It doesn't matter if those things qualify you as a hipster in someone's eyes, then so be it. It doesn't mean that you are or are not a hipster. This is exactly why labels are stupid.

Anonymous said...

Actually, you are the worst kind of hipster.

Anonymous said...

wow, who would mistake you for a hipster...
sarcasm is pretty cheap. all i see is the spreading of hate. people can go on and on about something they don't like, but i don't see you doing anything useful... watching anime all day is NOT useful. bragging about watching anime is as embarrassing as someone who brags about their cool hipsterness (or their lack of being a hipster... this fuzzy line is obnoxious...)

otherwise, i think it is cool that a high school kid has opinions and is willing to learn about things like Palestine- you are more aware than most people your age. just try to recognize when you are just being a judgmental, sarcastic jerk rather than trying to understand people and why they do what they do.

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