18 May 2008

it's hard to rebel against rebels

As some of you might know, my parents are retired designers and buyers in the Fashion Industry. We're not rich by any stretch of the imagination and I'm more at home at Goodwill (my dad has worked there as well as CK and high price retailers) than I am at, let's say, Saks. Their career peak was a long time ago and I won't mince words about it as they've made it aware to me they have no regrets leaving it.

For all the perks of being in the Industry, they've ingrained in me the bad sometimes outweighs the good. If you're talented, cutthroat and hardworking you'll succeed in the industry. But you've got to maintain this facade constantly, or else you're out. No matter how much talent you've got, there will be three others that are willing to work for less or for nothing at all. This is why my parents retired, despite their positions and income.

I've loved fashion and all aspects of it for awhile now, but I'm well are that if I were to ever work in it I would not be going into it for the money. No one should, unless you've got no qualms about how you're going to get fed/live/survive in the first place. I'd have to go into it for the fun and by god I would absolutely love that. Who wouldn't? But I can't afford to and I know my parents would be disappointed in me following their path in the first place.

My parents, like many others, want me to become an Engineer, a Lawyer, a Doctor. Something prestigious and high-paying, something to respect. I'd much prefer opening up my own boutique or perhaps becoming a buyer, like my dad was for a decade or so. I would love for my parents to be proud of my decisions and my future jobs but knowing that they went through with it--they lived it--for decades and are as they are now reminds me that all good things come at a price. Sometimes you've got to choose what you need over what you want.

I still don't know how I am going to ever negotiate between them. When someone asks me what I want to be.....a buyer? Open up my own boutique? I can't quite get it off my tongue without feeling a little guilty to my parents. I don't want to grow up to be the person my parents are now. I want to be as they were.....without the price afterwards.

Maybe it's just teenage indecision, or maybe it's something more. Quite frankly, I don't want to think about it because it scares the living hell out of me. But more and more of my friends are moving on, getting jobs and making connections and well....heh. I know I have to get out there and fight for what I want and all that but sometimes you just get scared off you know?

Life scares me incredibly, sometimes.

--- on a similar note, what the hell happened to Agathe? I miss her!


Leigh said...

Thank you so much Belle:) You have a great blog! I will mark it as one of my favs.

Have a great Sunday.


MR style said...

hey i can understand how lame it is to be in that situation but parents are here to protect us !!

Amelia said...

That's tough, but you do still have a lot of time to make decisions. Keep your parents' opinions in mind, but remember that that's what they are--opinions.

The Clothes Horse said...

I think your parents will also regret for you if you don't follow your heart and end up as a dispassionate engineer. Also, you must follow where your talent leads. You've got plenty of time to figure it out and you don't have to tie yourself to one position. Many people often switch jobs numerous times in their life. I just hope to figure out what I am passionate about...

Stephanie said...

Ooh, that is really tough. If I didn't suck at giving advice I'd try to tell you to choose one or the other, but I have no idea! I bet you'll figure something out eventually though.
Oh and I've been wondering the same thing about Agathe too! Maybe something happened at the hostel? I hope not..
And on a totally unrelated note, since I know you and I have uh... similar interests, have you ever made hash brownies? Freaking amazing!

Belle said...

stephanie: pahaha, interests indeed. i actually kind of suck with cooking (i barely boil water) but my friends have baked me some for christmas. yeah, our christmas presents are uhm. fun.

Biianca said...

As a junior in high school I really have to be looking into careers, I have failed to do so. Everyone asking me about careers is incredibly annoying. Even when I went to the doctors the other day, when I told him I was a junior I was flooded with questions like "so what do you want to do?" and "visit an colleges yet?". This only makes it worse, I feel like everyone expects me to have my life planned out right now, and well....i ave no idea what I want to do. i would like to go into something with fashion(perhaps a job at a magazine), but I wonder if its too risky....honestly, life confuses me and its majorly depressing. thanks for posting this, atleast I know there is someone else out there who hasnt had there career planned out since they were 5.

Belle said...

Im sure there a a bunch like us, bianca. =) we're just too proud to admit it.

Sally Jane said...

It's perfectly natural and fine to not know exactly what you want to do with your whole life at your age. Believe me, there are plenty of "adults" that don't have that figured out. I took a similar path as I always wanted to be a fashion buyer. After three years working in the buying office at a high end boutique in LA, I realized it wasn't what I wanted at all. I started my own Ebay business instead. Now I'm basically my own buyer (only I shop at thrift stores, ha). Being a buyer, with all the travel and perks, can be fun but it's certainly not as glamorous as people tend to think.

I've been wondering the same thing about Agathe! It's quite strange that she would just disappear like that.

Jen (MahaloFashion) said...

She's been away for a while eh? I didn't think it would be this long I miss her too!

Thanks for the fashion industry tips that's so cool that your parents were in the biz wish I could say the same about mine!

coco said...

I'd just see where life takes you
I think most people don't end up doing what they trained in anyway!

Nay'Chelle said...

I feel just like you. Ah, sometimes the stress of choosing what to do get to me. Hang in there though!

Belle said...

sally jane -- oh, i never really thought about that. thanks for the insight. :)

everyone, thanks so much for the response. it made my day!

MollyCake said...

hey lady! when you make those denim shorts, I want pictures!
I have no idea what I am doing with my life and my parents are just starting to accept that as a respectable way of living- live for yourself and be happy, who can argue with that?
let's trade links, that way I can keep up with you and Reggie Bob and you can keep up with me and...??? i just realized I need a sidekick.

Natasha said...

Like others have said, you certainly have a lot of time to decide.

I hope you find your passion!

Kira Fashion said...

I think in any carreer is not easy to choose what you wanna do. Be scared is something that everybody fell. If you wanna work in fashion, if you think you can make it, go on. Your parents love you and i am sure, soon or later, they will undertand you. don´t feel guilty, do what you have to do.

a kiss
thanks to open your heart for us,
see you,

The Stylish Wanderer said...

I fear this as well, you are not alone!

Molly :] said...

I know what your talking about!!
At the moment in the UK we have our GCSE's which are basically to decide what level of education/college you go on to do. I've always loved the whole idea of 'fashion' [just like you :)] and the thought of not succeeding my parents hopes is very, very daunting. I SO want to get into Central St. Martins college in a while, but everything seems to be depending on these exams. Which as you may expect is causing me ALOT of stress.
Try talking to your parents, if they can see that your passionate about this, im sure they'll back you up!
Thanks for this, its a great post!
Would you like to exchange links?

SICK. said...

"Life scares me incredibly, sometimes"
me too.


Belle said...

Molly - Sure thing. And yes, you do need to find one. Gogogo!

Molly: I thought you were already on my blogroll! I'll add you pronto.

Thank you so much for the comments. It's nice to know I'm not alone. :)

Jen (MahaloFashion) said...

Blog again soon!

Edith said...

Most people will have at least three 'careers' during their life time. So, just chill out and see what happens. Follow your gut instinct. If you end up working in fashion and then moving into another sector it is probably not going to be because you fell out of love with the industry like your parents did. More likely is that you just fell in love with something else. I work in fashion now (for a newspaper) and I love it. But, I am sure there will come a day when I want to save the world or run for government or work with animals. And when that happens, I won't regret my fashion choices because I have fun at work. Even if the pay does suck!

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