they want us naked and possibly as transvestites.

Dear dress code,

You and I have a love hate relationship. Good times were had, experimentation came from you and of course, those lovely weeks of detention I received for trying to thwart your claws. Remember how in freshman year I used to wear band t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers every day and never got caught unless I was on the second floor? Good times, eh?

No longer. You have gone one step too far, my friend. I understand that you want my amazingly awesome body (ha, ha) but all these restrictions are, quite frankly, ridiculous. It's understandable about colored jeans. We aren't supposed to have jeans on in the first place. I get that. But...no tailored pants? What? I'm sorry, I don't like walking around in yoga pants / fat pants. Work pants? I think people who have jobs like to have their pants tailored. Straight legged? Give me a break. I wear straight legged pants and you say they're skinny. Sorry my calves are fat...? This pains me. Pains me so hard. I have one pair of non skinny pants. And they're a piece of crap. I REFUSE TO WEAR FAT PANTS. You saw me in last period when I heard her smug mouth note tailored pants were unprofessional. I was foaming at the mouth. I wish I was lying.

No studs. I get that. I can get around that, I suppose. Buttons are ok right? Oh, wait, cords aren't allowed either. Pockets? What? I can't expose them? Eh? What did my pockets ever do to you? Are they streakers now? Does looking at them make you ill? Pockets aren't some obscure reference to gangs. The school is like the anti-gang gang of Jersey. What the hell.

It's obvious you don't realize my monetary situation. Actually, the lack of the money. I am not going to buy a whole new wardrobe of fat pants, long sleeved shirts, more fat pants, and generally failure-made-in-pants pants. You're too cruel.

You leave me no choice. I shall just have to order this--or the transgender (anatomically correct with holes included!) bodysuit before school ends so I am prepared for the next school year.



Hey, if I can't wear any of my pants, skirts, or leggings, I guess I'll just have to go naked or the next best thing.

I want a divorce. No, I don't--I want you gone. I'm hiring a hitman on your punk ass, dress code policy. A HIT MAN OF SPANDEX, JEANS, SKANK SHIRTS AND TAILORED PANTS.

FASHION PIRATE WILL NOT BE KILLED.
I SHALL NOT BE OPPRESSED.

IT IS ON.

Many middle fingers and rude gestures,


An extremely stubborn and pantswearing Fashion Pirate.


17 comments:

zhuhuajun said...

i wish i could empathize, but unfortunately, it is about time the teachers finally got strict about the girl's dress code.

AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE CHOICES. WE'RE FORCED TO BUY THE NICE LOOKING CLOTHES!!!!!!!!

so yea, not really empathizing with the girls, cause girls complaining about the dress code is BULL.

Belle said...

pftttt. thats a bad thing? i wouldn't mind the dress code if it weren't being changed at this random time. and skinny pants--i don't care if you check my pants for studs, i'll take them off if I have to and replace them with buttons, but eliminating tailored pants altogether kind of sucks. =/

bewkworm said...

well said woman, FIGHT THE POWER!

Zoƫ said...

tru datttt gurlll!
DONT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST US SKINNY PEOPLE
WE DONT WANT TO WEAR FAT PANTS

i have my picket sign ready....


and btw, you definately WERE NOT foaming at the mouth. lol

Belle said...

nah i totally had some foam xD maybe you're getting bad eyesight with that HUGE EGO you had today. it rivaled mine for serious.


thinking about it now, i don't mind nice fat pants, but i'm not tall enough and there are no places in the area that sell nice ones that 4345 in the school won't have. =/

Addison said...

thanks for the comment bub! you're so sweet!

haha loved this post! dress codes are so hard to stick to. evil. i agree!!

jane said...

NO EXPOSED POCKETS?
ARE YOU SERIOUS HAHAHAH

wtf?! what ARE you allowed to wear?

Wendy said...

No one even follows the dress codes at my school, but they still suck.

Amelia said...

Wow, that sucks. Thank goodness my school has no formal dress code. I almost died when I saw the "transgender bodysuit"--that thing is hilarious.

Belle said...

Ahaha thanks ladies.

Jane- im pretty sure they want us in circle skirts or nothing at all, judging by the chicks that are getting warnings for wearing plain white tees D:

zoeeeee said...

ah dude that sucks... my school dress-code is "don't wear it if your grandma wouldn't approve, and no gang symbols" hahaha. never surrender!

Stephanie said...

Wait - aren't tailored pants "more professional?" My friend's school actually banned sweatpants, haha.

I say you dress as insane as possible without actually breaking any dress code rules. That sounds kinda fun, actually... Are you allowed to wear dresses/skirts still?

Belle said...

Fortunately, yes--absolutely no denim in either, though. At least its an excuse to buy more vintage dresses, eh?

Anonymous said...

think positively! more dresses, easier decisions in the morning.

Belle said...

good idea. and i guess it is time to broaden my horizons when it comes to ''dress pants''..... ;;

Lee Rose said...

OUCH [i know this is soooooo late what is it now, 2009??] my school has a dress code and it s ucks. BIG time. but we can show our pockets with pride

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