A Cyborg in Their Final Form

Music to suit the situation. Lipstick to Void, of course.

I feel like I talk about this dress all the damn time but never got around to a proper outfit photo, so here you have it, just in time for fashion week. This is maybe my favorite dress in my wardrobe.

Egg Yourself On

Ribbon Choker from Twirly Trinkets, Vintage dress from Another Man's Treasure, Luna on the Moon Egg Bag, ASOS Portobello Platforms

Boop, here's an outfit post and a video for you. I've been feeling super burned from my hustle so I'm exploring things just because I like them and not because I have to do things. Tayler took this picture real quick before she jet back home for a few weeks. It's so strange how time has flown since graduation in May -- I've since worked with some of my dream magazines and it's only going to get bigger and better. Still doesn't mean it's easy! I've never worked so hard in my life. But I need to take care of myself better. It would be so nice.

In an effort to keep me from dying at my computer I decided to film more Youtube videos again, so here's one of the two I've done recently. I welcome feedback, though since I'm on a PC editing them is losing battle.

Everything in the video is shoppable below, too:

See ya around!

cdg, chanel, pat mcgrath and biba

This weekend has been super packed with makeup and brilliant babes -- my skin is crying out for pampering but I think it was totally worth it. I've been trying to be more productive lately, and so there is a few things you can read from me on the internet. I'm really proud of my Chanel SS14 Makeup Tutorial on Rookie. I also did a quick nail post for Capitol Couture (the Hunger Games Online Magazine), too.

Click for tutorial.

Those over the top makeup looks are my favorite to do -- I ended up spending the rest of that day with that makeup on and I think it looked fabulous huhuhu. I've been consciously trying to do more intricate looks, I'm treating my fashion knowledge as my makeup handbook and going through all of my favorite shows to emulate the looks so I can get better at blending and just general makeup stuff. It's a conscious and methodical effort of learning the aesthetics back and front to the point where I can reference them unconsciously later on when I'm trying to make something uniquely my own. It's how I work when I used to spend a lot of time on my outfits, and now it's how I work teaching myself makeup.

Midnight recreations of Biba Fever and Pat McGrath for Galliano. Tayler did her own makeup using the MUFE Flash Palette pretty much exclusively (honestly, it is the best makeup investment in our combined arsenal). I did my makeup using Kryolan's Aquacolor to white my face out and then powdered with MUFE, and then a bevvy of eyeshadows of my own mixing (I did a tutorial on this) and MAC's Carbon. I'm wearing Illamasqua's Kontrol on my lips because on the monitor Sasha's lips read more cool blue, but I think a deeper, more wine color would be more accurate. My drawn on eyebrows are just liquid eyeliner, I used Clarins. I've listed alternatives you can use below for the same effect. 

Tried to go to the Yayoi exhibit but the line was super long so I went to Comme des Garcons and played around in my future wardrobe instead. Give me like 6 years and they'll be in my closet. Tayler snapped this photo on the way to CDG, she ordered me into the light. It's nice having someone around who is even more obsessed with lighting than I am! I usually have to art direct everything. Anyway, I'm wearing a vintage coat, Cole Haan shoes and a dress that has been on the blog before. Here are your options if you'd like something similar:

Me in the ideal fall coat by Junya Watanabe. It's sold out on farfetch in this colorway, but is available elsewhere should you happen to have that $$$$ lying around. It's disgusting how perfect it fit and how beautifully tailored it is. I think I'm aspirationally more of a Junya girl than a mainline CDG girl most days -- I want to be the punk girl Junya creates.

I'm definitely more of  a Rei baby though. Who could look half as good in these ridiculous coats as me? Too bad they cost more than my tuition. I'll have to wait for a sample sale. Still, walking away from playing with CDG doesn't bother me because I know I'm resourceful enough to find a way to get what I want eventually. It might take realistically like ten years or whatever but it's never a question that it won't be mine. *muffled maniacal laughter in the distance*

Ok I really have homework and deadlines to attend to, but I hope you had a rad weekend too cutie pie. 

tweedledee and tweedledum for prada

This weeks shoot was like, really too heavily influenced by youtube videos we'd been watching the night before and also my obsession with Pat McGrath / Val Garland / Lisa Eldridge but I think it turned out really well. I can't avoid paying homage to my idols, it was really funny catching myself veering towards creams and colors that I had fallen asleep watching the night before. Doing Tayler's and my own makeup after this week's girlmonster was really kind of therapeutic actually, since I didn't have to worry about a story or anything like that, I could just think about my favorite makeup looks and pull from them without worrying if I'm erasing a story that is important to the portrait.

 

 

I began by referencing Lisa Eldridge's Biba tutorials, but then I remembered Grace Jones exists and so that happened too. I have to make the makeup very pigmented and stripey to work with the lighting setup we use so blurred out super blended makeup doesn't really work for the pictures right now. Another time. 

This look though, besides the Biba/Grace Jones connection, was heavily influenced by how much I've been thinking about the Guy Bourdain x NARS situation lately and the power of blush. I'm really into it. I used a mixture of OCC Creme Color Concentrates (which I L O V E), INGLOT & MAC* shadow,  MUFE Powder Blush*. MAC lipstick in Violetta. I've been using MUFE cream and powder blushes almost exclusively for the past few weeks and just found out they have a matte teal and purple so UMMMMM consider me a fan. 

I didn't have as much time to do my own makeup (this always happens) but I knew I wanted a kind of hazy mask like I remember happening at Valentino one year, and also, glitter. That lipstick is Morgana's Cryptoria, I've worn it on the blog before here. The gloss on top is INGLOT. The glitter on my eyelids is Naked Cosmetics on top of a combination of MAC and OCC eyeshadows. My gradient eyeliner is Makeup Geek Eyeliner in Poison blended into Urban Decay*, and I used a combination of  blue butter london mascara* with Collection 2000 mascara. 

Can you tell we both like Cindy Sherman? Like a lot? Sidenote: the identical body language was not on purpose AT ALL, which makes it EVEN BETTER.  Talk to you soon babies.

* denotes product that was c/o the brand as a gift or editorial consideration. I don't blog (or use) about products I don't like or use myself, these are all things I keep in my kit now. I highly recommend all products mentioned! If you ever want in depth reviews of makeup, you can always ask me on my makeup blog.

stripes and psychedelics

Ta da, a revamp of the blog! I hope you like it. We're still working out the kinks, sorry -- tweet me if you have any huge troubles with it. You'll note I added a Shop FP link up at the top (with faves of the moment) and also sponsorship opportunities. Someone in the last comments thread asked about skype consulting and yes, I'm happy to do that as well, just email me. Ok, back to business:

I have always been a total sucker for stripes -- my all time favorite shirt is just a striped tank top I purchased from Goodwill and have worn so  much it has literally fallen apart at the seams, and then I just sewed -- HAND SEWED -- it back together while I watched Breaking Bad on Netflix. It took several episodes but it was so worth it. This dress spoke to me and this is actually my favorite jacket, it's just made so beautifully and is the softest leather. Paired 'em together et voila. It's very funny to see my outfit posts and how rapidly it seems my style changes, but that's only because I do so few of them that you can't see my style change on a day-to-day basis. Though I'm practically omnipresent on the internet you still only see a sliver of my life, so you don't see me change, you just see the results. That's fine with me. A girl has to have secrets.

I'm obsessed with this dress from Gypsy Warrior -- I want a crop top version and a high waisted skirt of this fabric and cut. This is what it looks like without the jacket. It's definitely one of the most obnoxious high-low pairings I've ever worn, the jacket retailed for four digits and you can pick up the dress for $32. Something about this amuse me so much....postmodern fashion methodologies forever, man. 

Outfit details: Similar jackets here, here, and here . Dress c/o Gypsy Warrior, Similar stockings by Kate Spade. Brahmin Tucker c/o, YRU Platforms c/o Gypsy Warrior. Lipstick is a combination of Morgana Cryptoria's Metallic Seafoam. underneath OCC Powerplant. Mai sent me the lip tar. Bonlook Marquise sunglasses.

Also! I have been getting a lot of compliments and questions about some of my new glasses, so I thought I'd do another giveaway to share the love. All you've got to do is sign up for Bonlook's Newsletter (you'll automatically recieve a $10 discount) and then leave a comment on this entry with the name of the style you want. Everything else is optional but will increase your chances by a lot.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

politics of presentation

“There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn’t one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, Imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough.” - Marya Hornbacher 

I just want to seriously say that my blogging is probably going to change. Post-CatLadySoul tumblr actualities means more about me and less about dealing with bullshit. I gave a lot of myself in every medium and made myself really approachable and now I want it to be more about me now. And by that I mean like, not about an image I present, not all outfits.... my personal style is kind of whatever now anyway. I want to talk about fashion. The things about fashion that make me fall in love with aesthetics. The things that influence me and ground me and elevate me, and not the surface effects. My personal aesthetics can go whatever somewhere else. It's more about the ritual of it to me right now than the outcome. I am obsessed with rituals.

Take for example, the ritual of getting dressed to go out. Since depression, I have cute clothes and wonderful things to share, but I mostly wear all black, cashmere, big sweaters, Whatever Outfits, and just focus on my makeup. I can pull together a nice outfit blindfolded simply because my closet at my dorm is well edited to the point that it's kind of impossible to fuck up (unless you really insist on wearing slob clothes, which I do, and which is why they have their own drawer so I don't have to face my Cute Clothes) but I usually only have the energy to do so much before I wanna just crawl back to bed and watch Breaking Bad, and lipstick is easier to put on than Comme des Garcons. Privileged Depression Fashion Problems, but you know, I work hard for my money when I'm not depressed. Anyway. When I get dressed now, I zero in on my face and hair because they are the things I see first and most in reflective surfaces, and my black outfits are just there for mood. I just want to see Me now. Remind myself I'm still here.

So this weekend I had my webcam running pretty much all the time as I got ready to go out, just because #narcissism. My makeup process can take anywhere from 5 minutes and out the door to 3 hours, depending on glitter, and effort, and change in plans, and also my Netflix queue. I am just endlessly amused at the fact that I can change my appearance so thoroughly using mica and powder and lighting, you know? I find pleasure in the transformation and the exploration of myself. Clothes don't hold much interest to me in the transformation category at the moment because I don't have the money to spend on the clothes I want anyway, and I'm just Bored, so now my obsession has gone straight to makeup. And it's more fun, because you can do a lot with so little, and it's easier to fuck up, which also means it's easier to discover new things. And I enjoy that a lot. The concentration and skill required to get a perfectly even cat eye, the artistry of blending scarily dark pigmented shadows so you don't look like a clown, obsessively checking for fallout, for unblended areas, for bleeding of lip color, for symmetry. You're constantly busy creating this image, and it makes everything else fall away and that is just such a nice safe haven you know? 

“Busy the body, so the mind can be free” - Wade

 I especially like, though, going through this ritual of conventional beauty but fucking it up a little. Making it wrong and awkward and taking possession of it so instead of hiding behind something pretty, but ultimately hollow, making it raw and exposed and melodramatic. I like developing myself as a character in my head and then releasing it into something else. The process of creating something very pretty and then fucking it up is something I've always been obsessed with, which is why I feel such a kinship to Comme des Garcons & co. I don't want everything perfect and in place, I want everything slightly off kilter. I want it personalized. I want things to serve me. I want the experience of being able to take what hurts me or makes me anxious and turning it against itself and utilizing all the ugly feelings and making them into something I see home in. It doesn't matter what the other people see as long as I see something that gets me through. Consequences come after my process and the eventuality of a process being over means it did it's job, and I'm still here, and that is all I can really ask for.

Jean-Paul Sarte, No Exit

Peter Greenaway, The Pillow Book, 1996.

Things I feel a real connection with at the moment:

• Brian Eno 1996, A Year of Swollen Appendixes. My favorite excerpt: "Art is something that happens,  a process not a quality, and all sorts of things can make it happen."
• This poem by Shinji Moon.  
• This playlist. 
• This movie.

Ben Vautier

This is primarily a continuation of a text post I did on girlmonstering you can still read here. 

The storm is making the lights flicker so I've got to go pack an evacuation bag. Hope you're all safe and whole. - Arabelle

rainbows and butterflies

This is probably my most half assed outfit in awhile, I was stumped on what to wear for pride and just ended up not bothering. The rainbow jacket is just serendipitous. When you overthink things too much you sometimes end with the simplest things. I never wear things so form fitting but I was planning on going to a few parties today after Dykewalk / Pridefest etc. None of that panned out (poor!!!!) but I figured it would make most sense to not let the outfit go to waste.



I'm still selling this jacket btw, but I'm probably having second thoughts 'cause I've worn it a few times and I'm diggin it. But, if you want it, go here.





Harness from Angie, vintage silk shirt, and Kova & T lame skirt courtesy of Gilt.










Blahhhhh crooked lipstick I hate myself

i have no idea what to title this so just go get a doughnut and forget about it

Just some things I've been appreciating this week. I would do a full outfit post but I have mostly been in the bathtub being sad all weekend so putting shoes on and painting my nails is as far as I've gotten to getting dressed. I can't wait for summer. I will probably regret wanting summer when I'm sweating my ovaries off pounding pavement in New York but it's ok. Then I can be excited for fall dressing!

Shoes: Gift from Wanted, Bag: Gift from Modcloth. The shoes came in like less than 24 hours, mad impressed. I've never owned yellow shoes before and I'm not usually a fan of this kind of shoe but it felt right to me. 

I haven't read zines -- or purchased them -- in awhile, let alone made any, so I think I'll probably reread my favorites this week. I just started journalling again the other night in my sleep in a last ditch effort to be okay and it was really cathartic. You don't realize how much you miss something sometimes until you start doing it again I guess.





Some playlists I've been digging lately, which are definitely suited for today. Take a listen and I'll see you in hell???????? Hahahahahahaaaaaa.

polly pocket pals in comme des garcons

Fashion week... hrrmmmm. Even with any bullshit that is standard with guest lists and seating politics, I will put up with a great many things to see my favorite people. I don't get to do it often. I think Friday was the first time I saw the old lady (it is my nickname for Tavi) for more than five minutes in like a year?? Crazy times. It's weird though. When you are really good friends with someone it doesn't matter how long it's been since you've last seen each other. We fall into the same habits of creepily staring at each other and poking each other to make sure we're actually in front of each other and make indiscernible noises loudly for no reasons at all in public. Such is life as telepathic twins.

lol i sound so annoyingly random in the beginning. It was probably the momofuku truffle balls we were eating like gluttons before i pulled out my camera. They are beautiful inventions.



We had breakfast together and a handful of other bloggers -- Zana, Carolina, Greta, Lucrecia (hiiiii I love you) and Keiko  and  Mr.Bloglovin (this is my nickname for him) with the kindness of Hudson Hotel and Urban Decay.  UD provided us sweet gifts which I still cannot get over. UD is hands down my favorite cosmetics brand besides indie label Aromaleigh -- which unfortunately shut it's doors in December but not after I ordered a ton of eyeshadows -- and Sugarpill Cosmetics, which I am dying to try. I am a big makeup nerd even though I don't wear a ton of it on a day to day basis.



I have a lot of UD stuff at home -- some of which I haven't even opened!! I'm really bad at denying myself UD, especially when it's on sale on Hautelook -- but I have been dying to try out their new palettes and trust me that they are fabulous in person.

this is her normal face you guys!!!!!111

Anyway I spent a good half of the day with Tavz being creeps in her hotel room and attending the Ann Yee presentation together and taking prom date-like photos of ourselves on the streets before we split for our own things. I hung out with the needy bitch Kristin  (HAHAHAHA) and Mark and Toni and Veronika the rest of the day. Or was that the next day? I don't even remember man. Fashion week is a big daze. I'll post pictures from the actual presentation some other day. See ya!