04 November 2011

this is my armor and you can't chip it


 Sooo a change in scenery seems to be in order! I love the basement but the lighting completely sucks and the dorm maintenence crew likes to creep by and judge me a lot so I moved for today. I like it! Reminds me of my bedroom back home but I have way more room here. I noticed how much my last couple of outfits on the blog kind of blend together, and IRL they don't, but my favorite outfits usually are in this palette and with variations of this jacket or that skirt and that top. My roommate has more clothing than me in the dorm! No one understands it but it's because I have narrowed down my clothes. I mean I have an obscene amount of clothing, like, 4 closets technically, but I decided to only bring what I love and can't live without and it's surprisingly very little. And I haven't been compelled to buy anything recently, because what I want is very specific and I don't want to buy anything less than my dream items.


I actually get into arguments with my roommate (in a good way, we're very good friends from High School. I think she was one of the first people I bothered telling I was homo? I was never in the closet I guess if you were to think about it, because I never realized being straight meant you couldn't think about girls....derp) about clothes a lot. Like, she has so much more of it at our dorm -- her closet is twice as full as mine -- but she dislikes it more and doesn't wear probably 80% of it. The way she gets dressed is a lot different from mine, and the way she approaches clothing is much different than how I approach it. Granted, I approach style, fashion, and just getting dressed differently every day because I don't feel like the same person on a day by day basis. I used to use it as a means to purposely differentiate myself and have fun and get around my school dress code and just revel in direct translations of my inspirations, but now I don't think so much about it.


 For the first few years that I got into fashion I used to scorn people who wore really basic, black outfits, etc, and swore I'd always "be ~unique~" and whatever that shit but now I think I feel most myself in simpler compositions and palettes. I mean, I am totally happy wearing colorful outfits (I am a color queen, let there be NO DOUBT) but whenever I feel very unsure of myself or even just very happy, just in general very something -- I always return to the sentiment that my favorite clothes are my armor and my friends. They will never fail me. And most of my favorite clothes just happen to be darker and have richer textures and are very delicate and strange. Clothes give me agency where talking often fails. I've become very introverted and introspective in the past few years and my favorite films and my favorite songs and my favorite clothes got me through. I can be a feminist and also love fashion because I believe that your style and how you approach the industry and dissect and create the media can give you agency, give you a voice, give you strength. Passion in any form, like getting dressed (even if that is a simple form), just says that I am here and that I exist and I am not ashamed.