28 March 2012

when the pawn hits the conflict he thinks like a king

When the infinite servitude of woman is broken, when she lives for herself and by herself … she will find strange, unfathomable, repulsive, delicious things; we shall take them, we shall understand them.” - Arthur Rimbaud, Letters of the Visionary. 

Antilamentation, by Dorianne Laux

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

Peter Lindbergh for Vogue Italia, 5/99

Max Vadokul's photo for Y's Autumn 200 Catalogue

I don't know where I am, but I know I am very happy -- and when I am not, I know that there is happiness waiting for me down the road. I have decided to regret nothing and try everything.


Lydia said...

Jesus that poem is beautiful. I kept trying to pick a favorite line, and I just couldn't.

jessica sandoval said...

Ugh ugh ugh I love that poem, as well, and I love that first picture, as well.

K said...

This is gorgeous, I actually uttered a 'wow' upon reading it.


Cassie said...

This is too perfect.

satoi said...


Mrs. D said...


Chuck said...

I love this post. Pictures, words, the lot. I've never come across Laux before - off to look up more of her work now...

London Ellis said...

<3 purrfect

Jenny said...

really amazing post.

Sarah said...

That poem. That poem. I... I...can't even.

China Lily

Zoe said...

That poem spoke to me in a way that nothing else, in a long time, has...thank you.

neha said...

just started reading your blog....n gotta admit m all admiration already !