02 October 2010

we're not the same

LGBT Rally for Safe Space from Targum Editor on Vimeo.

I don't really know what to say that hasn't already been said by dozens of media outlets and hundreds of commenters. I didn't know Tyler or any of the kids -- only through friends. But it's still too close to home for me. I've never been in such a homophobic or judgmental environment such as Rutgers, and I mourn the death of a kid I could have gotten to know. It's frustrating and disheartening, this whole situation.
A lot of kids are like Tyler, and too many of them have decided the humility of being publicly outed and made fun of is a worse alternative than death. The world is incomprehensibly cruel. A lot of kids can't see it getting any better, and so it all falls into the deepest darkness. I wish I could help more, so I walked with my friends and queer family a few nights ago. We'll see how it goes.


zeeta said...

My friend actually grew up with Tyler, so I can sort of relate (as in it also pretty close to home for me). What happened is pretty disgusting but I don't know how to react with all the publicity because it is so close to home.

Lela said...

Great blog. We just all need to love each other. Simples. <3

Lela London

bobb said...

Well written and thoughtful commentary.

diane said...

I think the kids that spoke out against the rally were not thinking clearly. It's important to draw attention to a tragedy like this, and wake people up.
Very sad indeed.
Thank you for posting about this.

sacramento said...

I have been missing you, and your lovely posts.
I am sorry that you have to come back with such a sad story. It is umbelieveable that things like that still happend in our free world.
Te abrazo from Spain.

Kat said...

although i didn't know tyler personally, he went to my friend's high school. it's sad that ignorance and plain stupidity caused such a terrible tragedy. :( rip.

Jenny said...

this is such a sad story...the internet can be such a dangerous tool when it comes to things like outing...but the internet can also be used as a way for LGBTQ people to connect with each other, and also a way for amazing videos like this to be shown. Thank you so much!

i can be found on Fashionmademefunky.blogspot.com and on a zine for sexual expression - licketysplitzine.blogspot.com

每当遇见你 said...

Here’s a list of tools you will need to start: Jewelers’ pandora jewellery wire cutters - If you can only afford one pair, get memory wire shears. pandora charms These are designed to make clean cuts on tough memory wire, so can also be used for pandora charms uk softer wires. Chain-nose pliers sometimes called cheap pandora charms needle-nose pliers – Very versatile for picking up and grasping small items, pandora charms sale bending eye pins, closing jumps rings, even closing crimp beads. discount pandora charms Round-nose pliers – Used for creating loops on beaded head and eye pins. Can also be used for winding your own jump rings and as the second pliers you’cheap pandora ll need for closing jump rings. Optional pliers – Wire-looping pliers which have several graduated circumferences to allow you to form perfectly uniform jump rings and loops in place of the pandora discount uk round-nose pliers mentioned above. Crimping pliers which have little notches to allow you to both flatten a crimp bead and then bend it to form a rounded finished look instead of the flat crimp you pandora uk get using the chain-nose pliers. As for materials, I recommend some assortment packs of beads in coordinating colors, some decorative metal spacers, seed beads in both silver and gold These can serve as spacers and beautifully set off pandora sale your other beads., tube-shaped crimp beads Buy the best you can find – these are what hold it all together!, head and eye pins. Other than that, let your choice of project be your guide. You might want some silver or pewter charms.

Jenny said...

hey! so i used the picture and the video you posted here as a resource for today (oct 20 - day to wear purple)...i just wanted to say thanks and to let you know the links:
fashionmademefunky.blogspot.com and

Kristi(e) said...

I believe that you made a gross over-generalization in stating that you've "never been in such a homophobic or judgmental environment such as Rutgers." What is your experience with Rutgers? Was it only this rally? Was it a handful of trips here and there that most NJ high schoolers seem to visit? Or did you attend school there for five years and entangle yourself into part of the community? You cannot judge a large university community by the news generated from a singular event. Yes, it is horrible what happened to Tyler and I will never, ever say that I support what happened to him; however, the acts of two individuals does not an entire university make.

I received both my undergraduate and graduate educations there and became friends with many LGBT students during my time there. I was there as they learned things about themselves and their sexuality and learned how to be safe without threat of someone pulling a stunt like this--because the acts of those two regrettable freshmen were not the norm, but rather a hideous exception. One of my best friends from undergrad is now engaged to the woman she loves, which is not something her conservative upbringing would have allowed. If not for her time at Rutgers, she might still be trying to force herself to like men--which is what she was doing when we met. Additionally, there is a gay-straight alliance frat on campus amongst other services. Having attended the school for half a decade and actually knowing the environment on campus I would say that I strongly agree with the last two individuals on the video that state they appreciate the gesture of the protest, but that it has nothing to do with what is actually happening. Then again, this is the same university that brought you Tent State (a "protest movement" that started out debating the steep cost of higher education and now looks more like a music festival:
http://www.tentstate.com/) The only generalization that you can make about Rutgers from this event is that people get upset about things for the right reasons and then protest it in weird ways that aren't actually effective (see also: Rutgers Against the War marching down 18 for no reason and disrupting classes, again, for no reason).

Anonymous said...

Pandora can be used in antithetical clues, flowers not to mention animal imprints, representations, zodiac indicators, colors besides substances giving you unlimited selections besides combination.Pertaining to Pandora Charms , the beads shift freely in addition to rotate slightly on your wrists motion, creating the undeniable observation catching additionally stunning influence.Pandora Bracelets has granted women globally the a way to wear their personal are accountable to lifes wonderful moments, thereby become area of their amazing story about romantic apart from fun moments forever. Because Pandora style is usually so private and distinctive, it can be a trend among women internationally. Pandora bracelet fans emerge from worldwide and variety Pandora sale holics clubs or associations for exhibit their wish to the irresistible gifts together with the gods.

art on canvas said...

Happy 2012 to everyone at Fashion Pirate!