02 October 2010

we're not the same


LGBT Rally for Safe Space from Targum Editor on Vimeo.


I don't really know what to say that hasn't already been said by dozens of media outlets and hundreds of commenters. I didn't know Tyler or any of the kids -- only through friends. But it's still too close to home for me. I've never been in such a homophobic or judgmental environment such as Rutgers, and I mourn the death of a kid I could have gotten to know. It's frustrating and disheartening, this whole situation.
A lot of kids are like Tyler, and too many of them have decided the humility of being publicly outed and made fun of is a worse alternative than death. The world is incomprehensibly cruel. A lot of kids can't see it getting any better, and so it all falls into the deepest darkness. I wish I could help more, so I walked with my friends and queer family a few nights ago. We'll see how it goes.

12 comments:

zeeta said...

My friend actually grew up with Tyler, so I can sort of relate (as in it also pretty close to home for me). What happened is pretty disgusting but I don't know how to react with all the publicity because it is so close to home.

Lela said...

Great blog. We just all need to love each other. Simples. <3

Lela London
www.LelaLondon.com

bobb said...

Well written and thoughtful commentary.

diane said...

I think the kids that spoke out against the rally were not thinking clearly. It's important to draw attention to a tragedy like this, and wake people up.
Very sad indeed.
Thank you for posting about this.

sacramento said...

I have been missing you, and your lovely posts.
I am sorry that you have to come back with such a sad story. It is umbelieveable that things like that still happend in our free world.
Te abrazo from Spain.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kat said...

although i didn't know tyler personally, he went to my friend's high school. it's sad that ignorance and plain stupidity caused such a terrible tragedy. :( rip.

Jenny said...

this is such a sad story...the internet can be such a dangerous tool when it comes to things like outing...but the internet can also be used as a way for LGBTQ people to connect with each other, and also a way for amazing videos like this to be shown. Thank you so much!

i can be found on Fashionmademefunky.blogspot.com and on a zine for sexual expression - licketysplitzine.blogspot.com

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Jenny said...

hey! so i used the picture and the video you posted here as a resource for today (oct 20 - day to wear purple)...i just wanted to say thanks and to let you know the links:
fashionmademefunky.blogspot.com and
licketysplitzine.blogspot.com

Kristi(e) said...

I believe that you made a gross over-generalization in stating that you've "never been in such a homophobic or judgmental environment such as Rutgers." What is your experience with Rutgers? Was it only this rally? Was it a handful of trips here and there that most NJ high schoolers seem to visit? Or did you attend school there for five years and entangle yourself into part of the community? You cannot judge a large university community by the news generated from a singular event. Yes, it is horrible what happened to Tyler and I will never, ever say that I support what happened to him; however, the acts of two individuals does not an entire university make.

I received both my undergraduate and graduate educations there and became friends with many LGBT students during my time there. I was there as they learned things about themselves and their sexuality and learned how to be safe without threat of someone pulling a stunt like this--because the acts of those two regrettable freshmen were not the norm, but rather a hideous exception. One of my best friends from undergrad is now engaged to the woman she loves, which is not something her conservative upbringing would have allowed. If not for her time at Rutgers, she might still be trying to force herself to like men--which is what she was doing when we met. Additionally, there is a gay-straight alliance frat on campus amongst other services. Having attended the school for half a decade and actually knowing the environment on campus I would say that I strongly agree with the last two individuals on the video that state they appreciate the gesture of the protest, but that it has nothing to do with what is actually happening. Then again, this is the same university that brought you Tent State (a "protest movement" that started out debating the steep cost of higher education and now looks more like a music festival:
http://www.tentstate.com/) The only generalization that you can make about Rutgers from this event is that people get upset about things for the right reasons and then protest it in weird ways that aren't actually effective (see also: Rutgers Against the War marching down 18 for no reason and disrupting classes, again, for no reason).

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