Most Important Ugly: Opening Reception

Thank you everyone for coming out! So many people have emailed bummed they couldn't make it / wondering if it will be a moving exhibition. We haven't thought about taking it elsewhere yet (cart before horse) but it'll be at American Two Shot for 3 months, about, so those who couldn't swing it have time to visit. To those who did come by -- I love you very much. Thank you for sharing the night with me.

Here are all the photos from the opening that Tink took for us. They're also on Facebook. If you took any at the show please tag it with #mostimportantugly on twitter/tumblr/instagram so we can check it out! We would love to see them.



Tayler & I with our headlining muse Indigo, who came in her full lady vengeance makeup (I love this picture she took of herself).



It is nigh impossible to get all my favorite people in the same room together but this picture is proof it is possible!!!



Shot before the store got way crowded (but in a good way).


The Rookie crew came out also, and Shinji, and so many other people who are bright stars in my universe. I love you all very much.

Thanks to Paper Magazine for the shoutout on the show also -- ugliest art opening of the week, indeed.

Honestly I feel like a broken record saying thank you over and over again but I really am just so grateful. I'll talk more in depth about the show itself and the process that went into it at a later time. For now? I've got a lot of homework to do.

The Prada Problem

 

Tayler and I finally wrapped up the final photos for our Most Important Ugly photo project and hopped right into shooting my babe Jilly (photos of her on Tayler's blog) and also these cute bags I've gotten recently. This will be the last time we have studio space together until after the summer which is really weird! We've been shooting almost every weekend for six or seven months now and almost always around this very strict theme using this very specific process. So finally working on stuff outside rules we've set for ourselves was a strange experience. Tayler jumped right into it and built this amazing set and I was almost at a loss as to what to do with Jilly's makeup, since I'm so used to interrogating people and building a history based on their stories. To not have that story and not reference any specific look like I sometimes do (recreating McGrath for Galliano, 5ever) - it was really exciting but also really intimidating.

I think into things all of the time, half probably because I'm eternally trying to justify my interests as having value and the other half because I want to explore that value endlessly. But really, even though I love makeup and love how it connects people, sometimes you just want simple looks that look good. I didn't build on any references, I just went with colors I thought would look nice. Jilly has perfect skin and she looks good in everything so it was really easy and fun. Almost too much fun: I had to give my permission to keep it really simple. The day before (or after? time is weird) I did the exact opposite and I had to give my permission to go all out and I spent a very long time doing detail work and violent physical labor with glitter.

Hat: DIY Glasses: Givenchy Dress: Choies*Strawberry Bag: Tayler's Egg Bag: Luna from the Moon* Shoes: ASOS. Eyeshadow: Urban Decay Electric Palette* Lipstick: YSL Le Orange* Tayler's Bag: Jump from Paper*

Anyway. So I copped this Prada knockoff. Sorry Prada. I worship the ground you work on and I talk about knockoffs quite consistently! There was just no way in hell I could ever afford the real thing, Prada doesn't really do Archive sales in the style of CDG so there was no point in even waiting a million years. I settled and bought the knockoff instead -- laughing at the minor differences all the while (documented in my Prada tag on tumblr, to my own amusement and no one else's, because I have a sad sense of humor). I did buy Authentic Prada sunglasses though so like, she still is getting my money in some capacity? To assuage the guilt I feel. I was going to buy the bra that goes on top of it, but even the non-embellished version costs about $1200 and I would rather make it myself with vintage brooches and you know, pay rent and student loans and stuff. I'm sure Miuccia doesn't mind too much.

I don't even know why I am apologizing to the internet when we are all pretty complicit in knockoff corporate culture. I think it's probably because I think about class and knockoffs all the time and haven't purchased anything in months besides authentic designer and now I feel weird class shame like I've reverted.  This is the kind of shame that is set up in us and I'm not sure it's entirely a bad or good thing. It's just a thing. I'm thinking a lot about feelings about feelings lately and how you don't really need them. No feeling is final, right? And you don't need to have feelings about feelings. Once you realize this you become free in a lot of ways. Freedom doesn't make you a better person though, and I think we're supposed to want to be better people. Better over freedom? You can aspire for both, of course. But I'm not sure you can get them at once all the time, particularly in the context of consumerism. There is always guilt to fall somewhere, usually it's on the consumer. Especially the poor consumer. Bootstraps mentality and all that jazz -- if you work harder you'll get what you deserve, what you work for, rise. Of course, that's not what really happens. Luck and privilege change the game and you don't so much 'get' a job as are given one. This is where the real conversation begins. But we're still told otherwise, and told if you don't buy the Original you're the bad one when you certainly weren't the person who made the fake to begin with. You're less than. You try to work off the guilt when it shouldn't be yours to deal with in the first place. Do you know what I mean? Feel free to disagree.

Anyway. At the end of the day it's a cute fucking "fake" dress. I wore it outside today with "real" Prada.

Nobody knew the difference.

Photos by Tayler as usual.

ari n me

ph by Tayler

Hung out with my angel Ari for the first time outside of the internet this Spring Break. I had a really beautiful Spring break full of cute people. I got this vintage suit thrifting the day before with Shelby actually. 

Thriftin' 

Also had a Rookie hangout. This is not from said hangout, it is from the last hangout. Some of us are pantless in the most current interations of the hangout (we were sweaty from Beyonce choreography) and so the internet can't see those. Sorry. 

So much love. 

knitwear, basquiat, and barbara kruger

Went to Central Saint Martin's with Scott my last full day in London (can't believe it's been a few weeks by now), wore this particular creation of his on the trip there. It's a spectacular dress isn't it? Can you believe he's only been doing knitwear for a year, about? UNREAL. This dress was inspired by Basqiuat and other influences, I think he did a good job of making his intentions known. We'd gone to the Tate Modern the day before and the influence was startling. Unfortunately CSM was closed when I went -- I am cursed apparently, every time I try to go to a fashion themed library it never happens -- but the entrance hall was open and the lighting was killer so we snapped a few pictures together. I'm lucky with finding light. The clouds moved on immediately after we took these pictures, so it was great timing after a lot of dawling elsewhere being frustrated that we weren't getting what we wanted out of the day.

 I love photography and framing and lighting a lot, it lets me find something very intentional about everywhere I go. We're always walking around doing one thing or the other and when you're on the lookout for a good picture, you see things differently. It's nice to capture an ordinary moment and being able to invest something into it. A nondescript concrete wall can be beautiful too. 

I'm horrible at modeling though, definitely fall into the good ol' awkward blogger standby's, so trying to show the back of this dress without looking like I'm drawing on the wall or peeing is too hard for me. Whatever, I'm not signed to Ford, I don't gotta worry bout that stuff. 

I will try hard, however, to always be a better creative person though, which means I'm never going to stop experimenting with this here blog for as long as I have it, pushing my ideas and my techniques and exploring collaborations. I do read every comment and every email and every criticism and fanmail even if it's hard to answer them all, and I try to channel them into something even better and more productive for myself because it's just the only way I know how to live fully and happily. I am very young and have been able to do many things already so there is a constant worry of me wondering -- have I peaked already? is this it? -- but I think it's more productive for me to just hustle and try harder forever. The universe is expanding and nothing will be enough, but I think working towards being enough is fun while I have the chance. The meaning of life, as Kruger points out, is that it stops. So basically: *Jesse Pinkman voice* carpe diem, bitches.

we can get in trouble just by going free flow

The second to last day in London, Scott and I just went everywhere with me in his creations. This is from his White Project from last year, I remember listening to his development process on Skype while he was working on it. I've seen Scott develop a lot as a designer through his sketchbooks and the signature aspects of his creations are always heavy, intensive knits and large volume. I love the distortion of the body and how I end up moving in his work - the best words for it might be an angelic monstrosity, you know? Some dresses float like on air, and that is a really powerful, sexy experience. But this defies that kind of movement and you as the wearer are forced to experience your clothes in a different way, and I love that. Some of it is stiff and other parts are floaty...it's ethereal in it's own way, it's a very alienating experience. It's always on the right side of absurd for me, I never feel uncomfortable in his stuff. If I try to describe how I feel in it, it's more like a hand is being extended to take me on a good trip. There is a lot of goodness involved.

 I think it's because we come from the same place aesthetics wise and share similar backgrounds. Scott's my designer just as much as CDG is, if not more, because I actually have an influence on what he creates. It's very fulfilling to have someone to collaborate with on ideas and to see them run with it and being able to wear the results in the end is a unique, rad experience. We like the same things to the point we never have to explain our influences to each other. We might not talk for weeks at a time, but then we'll talk for hours and share moodboards and they'll always have a few of the same main inspirations out of coincidence. And since we come from similar class circumstances, we get what the other person is trying to do. Because despite us being fashion kids -- him being a cutthroat kid at Central Saint Martins, me being a blogger-student juggling work and school forever -- we're still not secure or successful in the ways a lot of fashion kids are who come from money. We're always dipping into luxury art and fashion realms but our actual daily realm is eating 99cent muffins for dinner because we're too broke to afford real food because student loans, and materials for our work. So we're always drawn to bringing our aesthetics into our neighborhoods, it's a visual representation of the weird juggling act we're constantly participating in. Photographing his work and our collaborations in neighborhoods that don't match up visually -- that's just our lives, really. We don't match up to the expectations our clothes -- or dreams -- tell us we should have. And I personally enjoy that very much. 

We took a lot of pictures in this dress so it was hard to narrow it down -- you'll likely see different iterations of our approach in the future in this, I want to show you how fun it is to wear. Anyway -- hope all is well and you are safe and sound. 

and then we caught pneumonia

Massiel is basically my blog photographer now, ahaha. It's nice to have someone to dress up with and collaborate with on a frequent basis! Mixed fashion gurls 4ever. 

I have a goal to have 10 pieces of Comme des Garcons before I'm 25, and this jacket marks the 5th piece. I dunno, it's just something to work towards, you know? It keeps me on track in regards to savings and buying my yearly CDG piece makes me feel motivated.  I'm so happy I got this jacket (and at 30% off on Ebay), I'd been staring at it for probably a month once I found it and it goes very well with my other Comme items. It's from F/W 2010, which I gushed a little about on my new tumblr. 

Yes, I'm back on tumblr. Jazz hands? 

On Massiel: Betsey Johnson black dress, Metamorphose blazer, my shoes (seen here). 

On me: Comme des Garcons FW2010 cropped jacket, Comme des Garcons FW2008 Cage Dress (seen here and here), Feminine & Masculine Shoes c/o (also seen here). 

You can see our individual outfits here. Massiel. Me. But you can also just click any of these photos, they'll enlarge. 

We spent a few hours playing dressup, you'll see the other outfits in other posts later this week probably. See ya.

celia visits

I've been grossed out and grumpy towards the internet lately (bye tumblr) but I love my internet babies and when Celia said she was coming to town I naturally was first to hog up her social calendar so I could touch her hair fondly and bond over sugary alcoholic drinks with her. Tyler is also as babely in person and I just really enjoy hanging out with them both because it was just the most natural thing ever, like we don't live  in different countries but actually around the corner from each other. I seldom bring my camera with me places so these are from her and Tyler.

I find it very amusing that she and Tyler both tower over me (not hard to do, I'm 5ft 2) that even on this platform she's still taller than me. THIS IS WHY I HARDLY EVER WEAR FLATS. Also bummed that black on black on black outfits are so hard to photograph? This looked way better in person.

Me figuring out directions to the nearest thrift store. We went to Beacons and Odd Vintage and I bought some nice stuff. Some outfit details: 

Vintage dress, gift from my local vintage store, I did a post on them ages ago here.  Jacket is also a gift and repeat seen here  (Comme des Garcons), bag is c/o Rebecca Minkoff. Shoes were a gift from Elizabeth. Pin c/o Luna on the Moon. Very lucky and humbled about all of it. 

Inside Odd Twin vintage, place that caught my eye from across the street so we all went in and it was destiny. (we met up with Celia's friend Billy and Billy's friend). It's a really great vintage store with reasonable prices, gonna be a pitstop for me for sure. 

I'll do a haul video or something with all the stuff I've gotten recently to show you all 'cause I doubt I'll get around to doing individual outfit posts. To note: Alice + Olivia grey jacket that defies description, Zac Posen skirt, weird knit sweatervest, transparent plastic blazer. Amaze. 

See ya.

Rookie Prom

Marie, Leeann and I. ROOKIE STAFF JAMS. I'm wearing an Opening Ceremony dress (previously worn on the blog here) and a RM bag c/o.

Nicolette, my #lesbichic blogbff, and Jenna Sauers, The Best Person Jezebel Has On It's Staff Period.

ROOKIE STAFF PHOTO BOOMMMBBBB

Lightspeed Champion/Blood Orange and Alexa at the photobooth. Was too obsessed to say hi. 

Elizabeth, Amy Rose & her friend and Marie. 

Petra & Avery being FUCKING ADORABLE UGH 

Anaheed, Laia, Ira and Amy Rose being the literal manifestation of adorable happiness. 

ROOKIE BABIES. Not every Rookie staff of course, not even everyone at the party! -- but lots of us. It was so, so fun, and I am unspeakably, wondrously lucky to love & know every single one of these MEGA BABES. I am so proud of my baby gurl Tavi and every single staffer and it was a privilege to experience this week. 

All of these photos are Alyssa Laurel Photography. 

Rookie Rush Week

I still have a few shows to put up from NYFW but I wanted to share these pictures first.

One of my outfits, this is from Saturday when I was hanging out with Petra and Avery and Sandy at the Met after the Rachel Antonoff show (pics soon). Rodarte for Opening Ceremony Dress, Zana Bayne Harness, Rebecca Minkoff Perf Beau Clutch (c/o), Vivienne Westwood x Anglomania Winged Sandals

Image from Gothamist.

Yes, I do recycle outfits! Only difference is I'm wearing some H&M shoes I purchased during FNO the night before for $20 bones because my new & beautiful Nanette Lepore shoes were killing me. You'll see those in a future post. I carried around 2 bags to all the shows. Rebecca Minkoff Mini Mac for my camera, Rebecca Minkoff Lizard Flirty for my phone etc. Wearing Illamasqua Apocalips on my lips. 

And some photos  from Rookie events, like the book signing & reading & the Prom:

Photo by Natalie.

I'll put the photos from the Ace Party / Prom in a different post. See ya. xxxooxoxoxox

this feeling is brand new

Sorry I've been M.I.A! I had finals and parties and stuff at school. Now I'm done with the semester so there will be plenty of time to post, at least until I go to Taiwan in July (I will try to blog there too, I want a record of my visit!). I swear it must seem like I wear only Dusen Dusen now....meh, I'd be lying if I said I was doing different, lol. This is the Babydoll dress, which will be on Emerging Thoughts soon enough. I'm wearing a jacket I thrifted from Goodwill some years ago and my friend's flower crown. My sunglasses are vintage and I purchased them the same time I purchased my regular glasses. I think altogether they were $45 or something.

Some of my friends and I went to the state park. They dressed in Lolita and I...didn't bother, because I don't have enough actual Lolita because it's too expensive and I'd rather spend my money on lingerie at the moment, haha. I have to be off to bed early because I'm doing makeup for a shoot tomorrow, so I'll see you soon!

tales from earthsea

by Logan

by Sandy

Laurence by Sandy 

Tara by Sandy 

Some more photos from my Brooklyn hangout sesh. It was so fun and I can't wait to hang out with everyone again. New friends are so wonderful aren't they? You can just taste your future happiness when you're around them sometimes. It's lovely. 

wings of desire

Man, my spring break has been RAD so far. I decided not to sit on my butt all day and meet up with friends I rarely see and it has been just a week of self care and smiles. I don't have any 'outfity' photos but I have some I still want to share. This isn't so much as a style blog as my diary, anyway, and I'll treat it as such. So this post are just snapshots of my favorite moments of the past that have not been documented properly.

One of the only pictures from the best night ever that I can actually use because I do not look shitfaced, and also it is not from a photo agency that spelled my name wrong?? Thnx Leia. I did an outfit post in this outfit, but this is from the party Tavi held  that night. Still the best night ever. Proenza dress, Proenza necklace, Givenchy glasses, vintage sweater. 

This is from Hoot Mag, the day before the outfit above, I think...? Yeah I think so. Might have been the last day. This is such a boring outfit for me... I pretty much wear this every single day anyway, minus the cape and hat. Everything is thrifted minus the harness, which is of course Zana Bayne. When in doubt, BLACK! HARNESS! COLLAR! Out the door. 

My friend Christine and I. Isn't she super cute? I have a crush on her. (INTERNET REVELATIONS? It's no big deal it's not like tens of thousands of people read my blog or anything word won't get out...........hahahahahahahaha why am I still talking). Anyway this is from a super chill party. I like it because we're both really happy and I'm wearing my favorite sweater, and my makeup is artfully a mess. I approve of looking like a mess. Let your mascara smudge and your eyeshadow fade, cry in public, scream when you need to. It is okay. 

Beacon's Closet the other day with Sandy, Logan, Laurence, Tara. We had such a wonderful day together, I can't wait for all the photos to get developed. I'm only showing this photo because apparently it was sold  to Beacons the other day by another Rookie writer Jenny. I didn't end up getting it (no $!) but I thought the story was funny. CIRCLE OF ROOKIE LIFE? 

Tara and Laurence and I muggin 4 da cam. 

I match my salad. (Thrifted sunglasses, TEAMO blouse c/o Emerging Thoughts)

Well that is all I have to share for the moment -- happy moments with rad people. We took tons of photos in Brooklyn, Logan and Tara and Sandy and Laurence anyway, so when they get them developed they'll be up here too. But I'm off to bed because I have MORE SOCIALIZING to do tomorrow. I hope you are all happy and cared for and safe and loved, my friends. I'll talk to you soon.