Showing posts with label self-care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-care. Show all posts

19 September 2014

priorities in the park

Arabelle_Park_2

A lazy Sunday in Central Park for me involves podcasts, naps, and extensive life planning (I'm a Capricorn, ok?). Transition weather means wool shorts and oversized blazers.....aka, tomboi looks, my favorite kind.Since I'm a sucker for oversharing I'll clue you in on my Fall/Winter 2k14 plans and give some tips on how to be an overachieve like myself. Hahaha! Let's go. But first: outfit details, because this is supposed to be a personal style blog.

I'm wearing: Tayler's Vintage Blazer, Choies Tshirt, Grey Wool Shorts, Margiela Tabis, Thrifted Backpack. Similar or exact options are listed below.


NOW! TIME TO MOTHER YOU! LET'S GET STARTED.

28 August 2014

Your Back to School Backpack



Me in freshman year of college (in 2010), Me just out of college (in 2014), in the same room. The more things change, the more things stay the same.


College is an experience..... a good one at times, a bad one... ultimately I'm so thankful I went, especially to a public school institution, and that I studied what I wanted and not what my parents wanted me to study. I had a really rocky freshman year and a very strange senior year.....and as my friends still settle into their post-grad lives and some of them, back into academia, I find myself contemplating if I miss it or if I plan to go back. I don't think so, to either of those things. I wanted to graduate two years early! But I'm glad I had enough time and resources to learn what I did learn, and I'm excited for all of you who are still in school or just jumping in. School was so fun, and you should be excited about it, too. So with that in mind, I've put together a little back to school guide of my favorite materials, articles, and videos as well as a back to school supplies list so you're both practical and super babely in your educational endeavors. There are zines, self-help books, calming videos, and my favorite #takewhatisyours supplies after the jump. 

09 August 2013

a$ap, leather, and a reframing of luxury


When I go to sleep at night (or more accurately, 4:33 A.M on most nights), I'm at my most  delusional from sleep deprivation but also most active when it comes to things I want to talk about. Something about being incredibly loopy makes my mind break open a little bit and I see things a lot clearer in terms of the big picture. Like, the other night, it struck me that most people's idea of "luxury" is pretty outdated, and it's causing some strange hypocrisy and more than a little racism and classism (not that this is new, pft) when it comes to the 'new' luxury consumer. By this I mean -- there are a lot of amazing designers who cater exclusively to the kind of hyper-aware consumer who doesn't buy often, but buys very loyally to a handful of brands, and their aesthetic is deeply based in streetwear, but strangely, these consumers think it's ok to scorn the people who inspire the designers they're buying from. Listen -- luxury is not a static thing, it's no longer a Chanel 2.55 and some YSL heels and Tom Ford lipstick. It's also the limited edition Supreme t-shirt, it's also your leather laser-cut mesh shorts you wear when you're pretending you're exercising (but really just scoping out babes on the High Line), it's paying hundreds of dollars for a fashion sweatshirt. 

 

You don't need to have a lot of material things to be living in luxury. Luxury is about options, quality, choice, not quantity, you know? For example: minimalism is very luxurious. When you're poor or working class, I/you never try to throw things away because you always want to find a use for them. Fixing is more of an option, so you'll keep something even if it's broken for a little while. You don't know when you can get something better so you keep all things mediocre. And the stuff piles up. You might end up hoarding. To intentionally practice minimalism, you have some kind of understanding you will probably always be able to buy whatever you need when you want it. Space is the ultimate luxury: Comme des Garcon's ultimate status symbol is their incredibly sparse store spaces in Tokyo, a place where square footage is rare and prestigious. And Comme is not your traditional purveyor of luxury, with it's boiled and  intentionally torn wools and strangeness, but it's still luxury. Luxury is just as much about the rejection of traditional status items as the appropriation of more 'lazy' items like sweatshirts and sneakers, and the appropriation of pedestrian fabrics and unusual things like manmade plastics. Anti-fashion is still fashion, after all. The language of luxury is the same as the language of privilege. Denying status symbols of what you have doesn't mean you don't have it. It's the same with privilege. They both operate in terms of economics, and capitalism, and identity. When we don't bring these things into a discussion on fashion trends & marketing, we're choosing to ignore the importance of these things to how consumers treat one another. You can argue that brands shouldn't have to care about that stuff, but I am a romantic and I want to believe brand culture at it's best extends to build a community that takes care of one another. I've seen it first hand and have had it myself, so I know it exists, and I know brands are aware of the culture they create or aspire to create. I definitely feel kinship to other black crows of CDG, and I know my lolita friends feel community within loli. 


Which brings me to my real point: no one has the final say in what a brand should mean to someone. Just because you know a lot about this one brand doesn't mean a newcomer isn't any less worthy of wearing their stuff. We're all buying into a personal experience of a universal projection. Hypebeasts making fun of A$AP Rocky for wearing Rick Owens or whatever, and fashionistas making fun of Riri at Chanel Cruise, I see you. And the masculine goth dudes dressed in Rick Owens like to forget Rick is (inarguably) a huge kinky queer dude who loves hip hop (Zebra Katz 4ever) and doesn't take his work very seriously (pony play tails on the runway, goth metal bands suspended in air, photoshoots of him cumming in his own mouth, come on) and he probably loves A$AP Rocky. And people who idolize Coco Chanel seem to conveniently forget she was also married to a Nazi, sold people out to the Nazi Party, and fled to Switzerland because of it. I personally think it's hysterical that now Chanel is best friends with WOC, because it would utterly upset Coco, and anything that upsets a Nazi makes me super satisfied. Basically: all your faves would probably surprise you. There's always more to know about a person and a brand. I don't enjoy taking things at face value -- I'm insufferable that way. 


 Just because you own an item from a brand, doesn't mean you have the rights to dictate your personal experience with the brand to other people who want something from them too. People experience clothes very differently, you know? When I say I love fashion, my love for it is bound up for it in many different experiences, and books, and personal journeys with clothes. I like very specific aesthetics in a handful of designers, and I spend a lot of time researching them and their inspirations and  little to no time reading fashion magazines or trend watching. When someone else says they love fashion, they might mean they love buying fashion magazines and they really like Coach bags and collect them. We're saying the same words, but the stories behind them are a lot different. And both are completely legitimate and neither negates from the other. 

Anyway, that's my super dense fashion feels post for now. Broke it up with pictures of my take on the eponymous "fashion person" outfit I see on old-school industry insiders, the ones who don't dress up for street style photographers -- they slip in and out of the shows to get what they want, and they invariably do it in leather. I really do love this outfit, and the fact you can replicate it throughout all price ranges. I've included links to similar looks, though my take is all vintage. I am not wearing shoes in these photos, because I'm at home and I don't do that because these photos were taken on my bed -- and I'm not wearing shoes on my bedding for the internet. No shoes allowed. Anyway, thank you for reading this wall of text! I hope you leave a comment.



19 February 2013

hope springs eternal



"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." (x)

Nan Goldin, Amanda in the Mirror (1992)

29 October 2012

politics of presentation

There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn’t one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, Imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be Enough.” - Marya Hornbacher 


I just want to seriously say that my blogging is probably going to change. Post-CatLadySoul tumblr actualities means more about me and less about dealing with bullshit. I gave a lot of myself in every medium and made myself really approachable and now I want it to be more about me now. And by that I mean like, not about an image I present, not all outfits.... my personal style is kind of whatever now anyway. I want to talk about fashion. The things about fashion that make me fall in love with aesthetics. The things that influence me and ground me and elevate me, and not the surface effects. My personal aesthetics can go whatever somewhere else. It's more about the ritual of it to me right now than the outcome. I am obsessed with rituals.


Take for example, the ritual of getting dressed to go out. Since depression, I have cute clothes and wonderful things to share, but I mostly wear all black, cashmere, big sweaters, Whatever Outfits, and just focus on my makeup. I can pull together a nice outfit blindfolded simply because my closet at my dorm is well edited to the point that it's kind of impossible to fuck up (unless you really insist on wearing slob clothes, which I do, and which is why they have their own drawer so I don't have to face my Cute Clothes) but I usually only have the energy to do so much before I wanna just crawl back to bed and watch Breaking Bad, and lipstick is easier to put on than Comme des Garcons. Privileged Depression Fashion Problems, but you know, I work hard for my money when I'm not depressed. Anyway. When I get dressed now, I zero in on my face and hair because they are the things I see first and most in reflective surfaces, and my black outfits are just there for mood. I just want to see Me now. Remind myself I'm still here.


So this weekend I had my webcam running pretty much all the time as I got ready to go out, just because #narcissism. My makeup process can take anywhere from 5 minutes and out the door to 3 hours, depending on glitter, and effort, and change in plans, and also my Netflix queue. I am just endlessly amused at the fact that I can change my appearance so thoroughly using mica and powder and lighting, you know? I find pleasure in the transformation and the exploration of myself. Clothes don't hold much interest to me in the transformation category at the moment because I don't have the money to spend on the clothes I want anyway, and I'm just Bored, so now my obsession has gone straight to makeup. And it's more fun, because you can do a lot with so little, and it's easier to fuck up, which also means it's easier to discover new things. And I enjoy that a lot. The concentration and skill required to get a perfectly even cat eye, the artistry of blending scarily dark pigmented shadows so you don't look like a clown, obsessively checking for fallout, for unblended areas, for bleeding of lip color, for symmetry. You're constantly busy creating this image, and it makes everything else fall away and that is just such a nice safe haven you know? 

Busy the body, so the mind can be free” - Wade

 I especially like, though, going through this ritual of conventional beauty but fucking it up a little. Making it wrong and awkward and taking possession of it so instead of hiding behind something pretty, but ultimately hollow, making it raw and exposed and melodramatic. I like developing myself as a character in my head and then releasing it into something else. The process of creating something very pretty and then fucking it up is something I've always been obsessed with, which is why I feel such a kinship to Comme des Garcons & co. I don't want everything perfect and in place, I want everything slightly off kilter. I want it personalized. I want things to serve me. I want the experience of being able to take what hurts me or makes me anxious and turning it against itself and utilizing all the ugly feelings and making them into something I see home in. It doesn't matter what the other people see as long as I see something that gets me through. Consequences come after my process and the eventuality of a process being over means it did it's job, and I'm still here, and that is all I can really ask for.


Jean-Paul Sarte, No Exit

Peter Greenaway, The Pillow Book, 1996.
    Things I feel a real connection with at the moment:

    Ben Vautier

    This is primarily a continuation of a text post I did on girlmonstering you can still read here

    The storm is making the lights flicker so I've got to go pack an evacuation bag. Hope you're all safe and whole. - Arabelle

    01 June 2012

    Be Your Own Hero



    No outfit post today, just a video I did because I wanted to do a video and someone suggested I do one on self confidence. So here it is! Oh, if you didn't know, I have pink hair at the moment because I'm trying to go blonde enough to go green but it's not working very well. Ah well.

    Ok I don't have much else to say hahaha I'm going to go watch Snow White & The Huntsman and deal with my crush on Kristin Stewart luvz ya bye

    22 February 2012

    just a better place to die

    Vintage sweater and jeans and necklace, thrifted GAP striped shirt, Nine West sneakers c/o brand.
    Quick outfit of me on Sunday. Worst weekend ever, super stressful week, just barreling through it on a lot of empty prayers and screams into my pillow. Bandaids on my fingers because these jeans, while they actually fit me, have a weird zipper and it takes nothing less than 20 minutes to try to get them on properly. They look so good on I can't help myself though. Oh well. 

    Been swamped with emails re: state of fashion blogging, too. Haven't gotten back to any of them but I will, slowly. I have a lot on my plate right now but since it's year of the Hustle I will try my hardest. Been trying to not let the stress get to me so been burying myself in self care mantras. I like this one a lot:

    Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who doesn’t make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life the better. The minute anybody makes you feel weird and non-included or not supported, you know, either beat it or tell them to beat it.” -- Amy Poehler. 

    Self-care is so important. Love yourself you guys. 

    03 May 2011

    the pursuit


     I cannot understand the desire to be normal. Normal is the starting point. You go through things to make you who you are. Different. Something else. Normal means you did everything as expected, you didn’t take any chances, you did what was expected of you in the situation, you didn’t do something away from average, you shed away from the spectacular, the scary, the weird, the awesome, the frightening. why would you do that? why would you want to be average? Average is to conform. I mean literally, the definition of normal is conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHAT IS THE ALLURE OF BEING TYPICAL? I am terrified of the typical. I am in a constant race with myself to become different from what I once was, I go through stages of myself, I metamorphose into different caricatures of myself constantly to make sure i am never quite the same as i was before. If i change at least it means i have done something. Sometimes this fear of sameness paralyzes me and I sit in my bathtub with the water too hot and the lights turned off and pretend I am lava and I am melting everything away because then I am nature and I am an unstoppable change and everything is better and I can breathe. 




    I relish the thrill of being afraid of my own self, like when I put on an outfit that I know is really strange and I know people will look at me funny or that time I chopped all my hair off and dyed it a thousand colors and everyone looked at me like I was too scary and stopped talking to me. I liked it because it meant I had become the idea of me that I had In my head. I don’t know if i can really explain, but, you know, when you look into the mirror and you see someone and it doesn’t match up to who you are really in your head? My life is a pursuit to figure out who that person in my head is, really. When I was little I think in my head I wanted to be like megan fox, only megan fox didn’t exist yet to me. but I wanted to be normal. And the fact that I didnt look like me, that in reality, in the mirror I was just a skinny as fuck chinese girl with a square face and bad acne... that fact felt unfair to me so I decided if I couldn’t become perfect then I would rebel against it and wreak revenge upon the mirror and the fact it betrayed me and thats what I did. I guess I escaped the mirror and I am glad I did but now i feel sad because i cannot relate to people who still want to be normal.
    Normal is losing to me. I don’t want people to understand me, I think, because that means we are the same, and that means I am normal when i’d like not to be. 


    Purity Ring- Lofticries from David Dean Burkhart on Vimeo.

    I am in a really contemplative mood right now, just cleansing myself of the fear and negativity and resentment I've built up at school over the year. I think I'm ready for the summer and a big change -- I wonder what? -- and just having time to think and relax and stuff. Anyway, I hope everything is going well with you, and that you are happy. I'll talk to you soon.